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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times I'm recorded while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when strangers see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because meals lose their warmth.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is trying to be. She makes video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. Sometimes she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She could easily employ someone if she wanted high-quality content. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “OK, look happy!” and film me laughing with someone. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an audience. I am not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. I never intend to make my friend uncomfortable. Taking her to industry events was my way of offering access, providing her a chance to experience behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I desire her to see what the content we make together can get us: a foot in the door. I understand not everyone likes being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in minor capacities. My assumption was filming a short video here or there would be fun for her. Creativity thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and enjoyable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion film you. I get that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

When pursuing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect her friend's personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everybody. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she must to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so hold on to that and ensure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be not fully engaged nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The answer lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing clear boundaries around what is comfortable to them and seeing if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their bond?